- #6 -
A couple of days ago I was talking to my friend on the phone while
eating a coated wafer.
It was a new chocolate bar, with all of the right things in it. It was
I wanted my friend to taste it, so he could tell me what he thinks about
it, but he was at his home, and I was at my home.
Then it struck me.
I could talk to him on the phone, sending vocal information to him, but
I couldn't send him the wafer.
All of the means of communication is sending information by translating it to
digital pulses and sending it through metal wires. But what about wafers? Why can't
the phone translate the wafer into digital pulses and send it to the other side?
I think those mages (see column #2) should improve the existing
communication spell-machine to enable it to transfer wafers.
The original spells can send any kind of object the mage wants to send,
so how come they haven't given us the ability of at least sending a coated wafer
through the wires? Think of the possibilities!
Imagine yourself that a major company invents a new kind of wafer, just
like the one I ate when I thought about this whole thing, and wants to
have it checked, examined and tested as soon as possible, before their
competitors goes out with a similar wafer. If they could have sent it via the phone to
the testers, they would have had saved a lot of precious time, and they would have
been the first ones to come out with this new, wonderful wafer.
You could have also send your sick mother in the hospital a nice
delivery of chocolate bars, if only those mages would have had thought
about it before.
Transferring wafers shouldn't be so difficult, all you have to do is
install a receiver and sender on your phone.
With the right spell coded in the machine, the sender will accept the
wafer, transfer it into special digital code, and send it through the
wires to the receiver on the other side.
While sending the chocolate bar it is important that the line is clear
of background noises, and other disturbances like waiting calls. Those
disturbances may cause an unpleasant outcome, you can get a wafer with a
strange taste or weird texture, those wafers are inedible and they are
Another thing is that you should never touch an uncovered wire, or you
will get waferized.
Waferifacation is a very dangerous thing that could kill you on the
spot, so you should be extremely careful while sending bars through the
I think those disadvantages are minor compared to the advantages of
coated wafer communication.
After the mages create the machine for us, the common people, the
possibilities are almost endless.
I can see a World Wide Web of wafers, to enable advanced chocolate bars
communication, letting you download any kind of coated wafer you want
A right foundation of wafer optic fibers will enable fast wafer video
phones to be installed in every home, and after that, a possibility of
wafer videoconference. Think about it!
How about 100 channels of wafer cable TV so you could zap though the
channels and choose whatever wafers you feel like eating right now.
I can see the new wafer series of TV programs: Wafer Soap Operas, Wafer
sitcoms and other garbage like those, as oppose to the quality programs
of the discovery channel showing new scientific breakthroughs with new
kinds of chocolate and much, much more!
All of it is possible if only one stands up and says: "I want a change!"
I call everyone to stand up for what they believe in!
Together we can make it!
The coated wafers will flood the world with new tastes and nougat!